Diagram the illness. Be aware of what is wrong with you. Self medicate as frequently as possible. Write drafts to the Pope. Tell him you need help. That you feel displaced. Like you are here by accident. Or are you? Is this just a convenient delusion? You indeed feel like you have something to accomplish. But if you are confused how can you accomplish this feat? Indulging in fantasy worlds will not help you. You will not find anything through self denial.

Catch your death with a butterfly net.