Do you remember when I told you I loved you and forgot to breathe?

Here we go again I thought and braced myself for the ride hoping it would be the last one . . . and I still hope it's the last one because I don't ever want to do this again if this isn't.

I'm sorry that I thought I could validate my existence through you. It was my flaw. I'm sorry that I wanted you to make me feel beautiful. I can't make you feel beautiful with as much as I love you--what made me think you could do it for me?

I'm sorry I peeked into your life, looking for you and only found me staring back a broken man. I'm sorry that I've depended on you for strength for so long--when the strength is in my self. I'm sorry I don't love myself. If I loved myself, I wouldn't have hurt you. I shouldn't try to make you love me the way I want you to. I should accept your love as it is because it's beautiful and it lights up parts of my world. The other parts are my responsibility because no one can ever light those up but me. I accept this now.