Check the tag on my toe -- it will tell you what I died of. I keep coming back to life to kill myself again. Forget how to smile. She's brave. It's not that. I am.

Disembodied meandering. Pondering. In a pond where the sky collapsed and the water is blue like paint--celestial, blue paint. Break out the drum so I can set fire to it. How's your stupid little man? Has he learned to crawl yet? Come on closer to me. Closer--so that you can put your head in my mouth. I promise I won't decapitate you.

I don't fear. I am dissapointed at the lack of truth. The mind subverts because people keep telling it to. I am drowning in subversion. Sublime slime. Mildew. Atrophy. This is not morbid. Only a description. I've lost the ability to speak. This is not speaking. I never had the ability. The foundation was broken. This is broken. This sentence. Broken. I don't know how else to explain. I can gesture, but your mind goes blank. I am not mad. I am livid.

I want you to stop coming here. There are no answers here. Only problems. Conundrums. Slaughter the lamb for me, then take it to market. I hate her quiet smile. I want to break it with my fists. I can see. More than I want to. It was you I peered into. Breaking.