Raised to expect continuity. Raised on disintegration. Breathing the Christ Dream through a filtered machine--a makeshift crack pipe. Learning to love disorder. Reflecting on the failure of language. You can't stop what is not there. You can't inflict pain on the painless. You can't pray for something that does not exist.

Alone in my mind with a dialogue that agonizes certain personalities in my mind. Would you like to meet them? Would you like to discuss something with them? I need a break. I can't continue the dialogue forever. I'm getting tired. I need a break. Please speak to them. Please let them know that it's alright. That they have nothing to worry about because they succeeded in driving me insane.

I once got a letter from a ghost. Have you ever talked to a ghost? What was its name?

Are you the ghost? are you dead? Is this the digital death? Our final hour . . . and what do we have to show for it but confusion and pain.

I am suffocating.

Devouring the remains of a dream unfulfilled. Her tender murder brought them to tears.

Illustrating dreams for the copy man living in the basement of your fears. Destroy the ego.

The agony of being human has always been quite real. My dreams exceed my life span. I will never fully complete the visions that I have because my life is not that long. I am not immortal.

Edit the human mind. replace all the letters with vegetables. The letter A can be a carrot symbol and the letter B an apple symbol and so on. Then vegetate. Reflect on the destruction that you have caused. Regress into infancy and throw fits on street corners. Pump your pelvis at the air until the cops come to arrest you. Resist arrest. Be firm about it. There is nothing wrong with being naked and pumping your pelvis on street corners in broad daylight. Pelvic thrusting is an American pastime. You are a patriot, not a criminal. Shake your fists at them. Dry hump the backseat of the car. Plead sanity with the judge and when you get acquitted--dry hump lawn furniture and then spray Lysol into the spectator crowd that has gathered around you. Call it art and yourself an artist. Drink coffee at Starbucks and then shoot yourself in the head because you are in hell.